bobthewizard: (Default)
[[Filtered to Ancient Runes students]]

To those of you who will be here this morning for your first exam of the week, good luck. Just think, another few hours and it will all be over.~ Other years will have to wait a day or even two before coming to this point; try not to exhaust yourselves with anticipation. Scholastically speaking, I would call this a productive year for us all, so most of you have little to fret about.

And if I find out who switched all the sorrel inks with the etching acid, there will be.... consequences. After all, somebody has to replace that washbasin.


*list of heavily locked notations, with "erfidityes" and "ins aeternum ocu" barely legible if you really look for it, trailing off into an exasperated scribble*

....................Has anybody seen my cat?

*...........who, for his part, is elsewhere in the castle, methodically shredding the edge of a tapestry<3*

[[Feel free to have done the prank, if you want to accept the Consequences (plumbing repairs and detention for a week).~ Also note: this is not the exam post. It will come in a day or so when I finish writing it. ^^]]
bobthewizard: (Default)
These two-penny bigots are becoming altogether too bold... My sympathies to Miss Lee; it is to be hoped that she will make a swift and complete recovery.

Filtered to William )

[[Private, hackable to friends/staff; strike mostly unhackable]]

Hmph, this travelling life suits me excellently well. It's so much fun to be cut off from everyone after the de-hexing at the border broke the transcription spell on my journal. Of course, these precautions must be taken, but would it have been too much to ask for one of the Aurors to reapply the hover-charm, at least? As it is, I was fortunate to find someone to pick it up off the floor.

Ah well. Petty irritations at best, but I find myself looking forward to the start of the new school year.

Pity I have no assistant these days; somebody's going to have to order the new texts from Flourish & Blotts....

bobthewizard: (Default)
[[Filtered to staff]]

Am I reading this memo right? An influx of parents at this juncture? *groans*


*paces his office, casting infrequent dark glances at a pile of books in one corner*


The hour of doom. It won't remain unnoticed over the summer -- and if the Ministry should change their minds without notice... confound this unwonted nostalgia. The thing is without merit. I should have destroyed it when I took it out of the library.

Even if it is the last one in existence.

Even if it is my only material legacy.

..Where is that vampire when I want him?


And the same with Filch. What is the world coming to? It happens that I am in need of at least six upperclassmen to destroy certain volatile materials that cannot be kept over the summer. You should be warned, though, that these solvents are extremely dangerous and can only be handled by fourth... no.... fifth through seventh years. Reply here if you are interested in lending a hand. They'll really deserve extra house points... I must speak to the Headmaster about it.

[[Dwayne is the only character (besides Daisya) who really knows about Bob's evil accursed grimoire. Of course Dwayne is ICly around, but for some reason Bob can't find him today. XD

..*edits post* Strikes illegible, but here's a chance for some of your characters to win House points!]]
bobthewizard: (8)
*amused* Some of you may be pleased to know that the wards on my classroom have been altered so as not to permit the latest curse.

Others may not be as pleased... because the precaution has been taken in anticipation of a test for which you will all be revising during the beginning of this week. Having everyone's thoughts public would be less than conducive to such a proceeding, don't you think? *smirks*

This will be a preliminary test to your end-of-the-year exams, and will comprise everything on the curriculum from the beginning of the year to the winter break. The second half of the preliminary exam will take place next week. Those of you who are preparing for OWLs and NEWTs are advised to peruse your notes very, very carefully.

*unfortunately, his journal is still down in his tiny office, so the following strikeout is somewhat less than stricken* There, that should wake them all up. ..Has anybody seen my cat?

100% hackable )

*meanwhile, on the seventh floor, a tattooed, hairless cat is having a fine old time chasing a number of crabs perilously close to the edge of the stairwell*

[[By 'them', Bob refers to certain Dark textbooks which he's taken out of the Restricted Section in order to restrict them a bit more than Dumbledore has seen fit. XD And if your character was around back in December when everyone got a pet crab, feel free to have your crab be among those that Marco is pestering!]]
bobthewizard: (1)
*pacing through piles of books in his office, the weird light from his glowing skull casting odd flares over the narrow walls*


One advantage of this prank is that I will be able to carry myself to the day's festivities without having to ask anybody for help. How he persuaded the cursed thing to move with me rather than anchoring me in place... *irritated handwave* It must be a fluke. If Dark magic had any power to alter my sentence, I would have discovered it long ago.

..Time.... well, best be getting on with it.


*turns with a show of nervous energy, strides for the door, and is brought up short with his nasal cavity against the wood*


*a muttered curse* Though there are inconveniences as well.

*grumbling, orders the door to open and let him through*
bobthewizard: (4)
"Useless," muttered Bob, running his hands through his white hair.

The second-years had filed out, tense and subdued after a lesson that had included acid burns, exploding wards, and no fewer than three students randomly bursting into song. One child had gone to the Hospital Wing with a burn that Bob could have prevented had his hand been solid enough to catch the beaker when it slipped. The school's spontaneous musical epidemic had ceased to be amusing. )

[[Backdated to Friday. Complete lyrics are here.
Students may hear Bob's inadvertent emo performance, but this is the immediate aftermath.]]
bobthewizard: (5)

*irritated* Of course Madame Pince didn't notice anything yet. The volumes were borrowed in my name; I could keep them out for months.

All the better to find time to unwind the wards.....


*dark look at the leather volume on the floor under his desk, aware of the malice it radiates even with several books of white wizardry stacked on top of it*

*has obviously been cleaning house -- the lower four shelves of his bookcase are stocked with spare textbooks, and the half-dozen volumes he received as gifts over the last few weeks are neatly lined up on the next shelf, save one book on advanced cantrips and...*

*regards the lurid cover of a rather steamy harlequin paperback and directs the house-elf to place it on the highest shelf, backwards and upside down*

[[Filtered to Bob's students]]

Whoever still needs to take (or retake) the end-of-term exam, please let me know when you are ready. As the term starts next Monday, you would do well to take it a few days beforehand so as to have it off your minds before classes begin again.

Enjoy the remainder of your vacation.


OOC Meme

Dec. 29th, 2007 09:53 pm
bobthewizard: (8)
Still on the meme bandwagon -- questions for Bob? Ask away! I promise I'll make a real post soon. XDDD

Edit: no way I could resist the irony of this......

Bob Bainbridge

A hard-core grave robber
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at
bobthewizard: (11)
Whoever is responsible for the current condition of my skull.... just... ask next time so that I can head you off. *totally suspects Daisya* My doors, by the way, are newly warded; you will not have such an easy time of it again.

*Note to Bob's students*

I am very pleased with most of your work on the end-of-term exams. There were a few rough spots, but those can be smoothed away next month. My best wishes for an enjoyable holiday season.

--Professor Bainbridge

[[Filtered to Syaoran]]

I regret to say that I will be detained here at the castle for at least a week. Thank you, however, for your kind invitation, and I hope that you and Harry have a productive holiday.



At least that's done... they will arrive on the proper morning, granting that all the recipients are alive. Which they will be. If some fresh evil had befallen Miss Harnet, surely it would have been mentioned in the Great Hall. What's the matter with the girl? I'm the one who got thrown in the lake!

Nothing has been heard from Madame Pince. Surely she has discovered the discrepancy already. Though I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, the suspense has begun to grate upon my nerves.


[[Backdated to before the train log. By 'they', Bob refers to the gifts he has dispatched to various people -- they'll be posted as soon as I've compiled them. XD Syaoran, barring anything explicit from Harry-mun, Bob is simply assuming that the two have already discussed the matter, which may or may not be true.]]
bobthewizard: (4)
[[Filtered to Bob's students]]

Your end-of-term exam will take place on Friday. Please turn in your completed syllabaries before that date. You will begin to use them when the new term begins.


[[Filtered to Haruno Sakura, Harry Dresden, and (just in case) Kenny McCormick]]

For those who need to take the exam at the end of the break rather than at the beginning, I need to see a projected study schedule from each of you in order to be sure that you are on track to complete the work as scheduled.


And now... to deal with the rest of it.....

*strides through the wall to the secondary staff room, leaving his office unlocked for Filch to take care of the large spider that has been lurking under his desk*

Hmm... at least Marco has been quiet today. Perhaps he had his fill of shredding my class materials. Madame Pince will notice before the week is out. If the trail can be muddied a bit further.... *glances over at the mess of open library books -- comprising one less volume than it did the previous day....*

*rubs hands together cheerfully* I wonder what's going on in the rest of the castle.

[[No log for the exam, but do let me know how your character handles it. Bob won't be affected by the mistletoe for more than a moment: although feel free to get stuck walking through him. And if your character happens to notice the state of his office door... well, so much the better. >D]]
bobthewizard: (2)

*faceghostlypalm, standing in a pile of shredded pages* Marco.....


This may be my chance..... if I report it too late for....


*tense, suddenly makes up his mind*

[[Filtered to Dwayne]]

If you would come down here for a moment... I find myself with something of a mess on my hands.

bobthewizard: (13)
[[Private, first sentence hackable to Dwayne]]

Hmph. It's been too long; there's no use making an incident now. Not that I could think of anything good....

Well. If avoiding me will raise her life expectancy, so be it.

..I suppose I have to think about gifts. It's been centuries since that was a concern of mine. At least I know what Peeves is getting: absolutely nothing.


Notes to Sakura Haruno, Harry Dresden, and Daisya Barry )

[[Filtered to Bob's students]]

In our next class you will emboss the covers of your syllabaries with your names in Futhark runes, the date (minute, hour, day, month, and century) in Roman numerals, and a box ward in anagrammatic form running all the way around the outside edge of the covers. Use parchment to plan the position of the runes; a broken rune string can result in a broken ward.

When you are finished, perform the translation spell that you will find in section twenty-seven of your Wright's workbook. This will allow the syllabary, once complete, to fall open to the page with the syllable that you need.

The rest of the class will be occupied by revising for the end-of-term test. If you have any questions, ask them now.


[[Notes visible only to their recipients. Soooo, Bob has nowhere to be for the holidays. As far as he's concerned, Harry has nowhere decent to go either, and he'd like to do something about that. Plot, anyone? >D]]
bobthewizard: (15)
*the tattooed catman slinks into the Great Hall and leaps onto a bench, crouching there with a good view of the room*

..I want a Chocolate Frog.

[[Private, on one of the less tattered pages of Bob's journal]]

Harry is still in Hogwarts. He wasn't sent to Durmstrang after all. That's....

*pauses, feeling that the simple phrase isn't adequate*

..Harry is here.

He's been here the whole term. It's incredible that we never encountered one another before... not that Ravenclaw Tower isn't usually outside my range, but this -- it's absurd, it's more than improbable... the curse of a doomed soul upon his lying relative! I didn't even permit myself to look for him.

And young Harry is still under his thumb. But I'm not. I am not. That has to count for something. Perhaps I can make a difference to him after all.


That settles any last chance of leaving my journal in here again. I will need somebody to sort through the mess and move the salvageable material back to my office. ..And where is that confounded animal? *ghosts out of the staff room, conflict writ large on his face, to brave the day's chaos and search for his 'cat'*

[[..i.e. feel free to encounter either or both. :D The rescue-Harry thread isn't finished yet, but this post is set sometime after Bob finds someone to let him out.]]
bobthewizard: (1)

Days pass and nothing changes. Confound these manacles -- how can I do anything on such a short leash? If I inquire about her, she may come to hear of it. *paces* Perfidious witch -- she may well keep out of my way! None of the students can be spared this week (and they will keep up with the curriculum, whatever my private worries)... but the minute we move on to a less rigorous section, I will have that book, and that chapter in my history will be closed for good and all.


[[Filtered to Nico Robin]]

Would you be amenable to our classes working together for a joint Runes project? Mine have reached the specific intent portion of the rune theory section, and I would like them to practice activating other inscribers' rune hexagrams with their own magic. Would you approve of having your students trade hexagrams with mine, so they all get practice working with styles they're unfamiliar with?


You'd think people would have learnt not to walk through me by now.

[[So as not to worry about Izumi, he's spending his time plotting revenge for the lake incident. XD Strike hackable, especially to anyone who's happened to walk through Bob lately.]]
bobthewizard: (Default)
I must say, that was one of the strangest masq ..confounded Sugar Quills. I should have guessed they'd try to make themselves useful. And will someone report to the secondary staff-room and gather up these leftover Chocolate Frogs? If my cat catches one there'll be the devil to -- MARCO!! Don't chase it into the--

..well, well, well. That was interesting.


No sign of her since that morning. This is not good. Heaven help her if she worked herself into a fit again with nobody around. If not.... there's no point in planning my revenge if I cannot even find her.

In the meantime... the book is still there, within reach of any student who manages to get a pass. It is a wrench, but... if the current possessor will not keep it contained, as befits such dangerous material....

Confound it. There should be another way -- but my vault will revert to Hogwarts if I am ever obliged to leave. There's no other alternative. It must cease to exist.


*paces, with poorly hidden agitation, between his office and the staff room*
bobthewizard: (2)
*materializes in his empty office, ascot crooked and face stamped with what looks like a permanent snarl*

*glares up to his skull, which is on the same shelf as always and appears none the worse for its recent adventures*

So she had the decency to retrieve me herself. That changes nothing. She could have destroyed me. That temper of hers... if I were less easy to manhandle, it would have harmed her just as easily.... *clenches impotent fists* I should have known this would never end.

The doors. The wards... there's no safety here.

As if there ever was.

[[Filtered to Bob's students]]

For this week's homework I want two feet on language changes during the Norman-Saxon conquests and a complete reverse translation of the Beowulf prelude from the original Old English. You will find the relevant information in A History of Magic and Chapter Seventeen of Twenty-Five Magical Languages, which everyone is to read before class. There will be an oral quiz on the subject.



[[Strikes completely unhackable. Thanks to Izumi's throwing him in the lake, Bob will be a dragon in class for the next few days. Feel free to take notice of his mood. XD]]
bobthewizard: (11)
*turning slowly in the middle of his classroom, which is littered with spattered ink and bits of quills, brushes, and parchment* Havoc. Complete and utter havoc. I should have asked someone to ward my classroom against those... things. Well, too late now. It's going to take days to sort all this out.

[[Filtered to Bob's students]]

For anybody who did not receive the current assignment due to last week's... security issues, the project involves some of the abrasive inks which were fortunately left untouched. You will each select two pieces of slate from the stack by the wall, trace the letters of a common household spell on one of them in white graphite chalk, choose the correct ink from the table on Page 132 of Deciphering Ancient Runes, and then use a Number Three brush to practice etching letters and lines in your second piece of slate.

If this is your first experience with volatile materials, be sure to wear dragonhide gloves. The ink will burn if it touches your skin, but it can be flushed away with water. Allow the marks to stand for two minutes before wiping the residue away from your slate, and DO NOT write on your first slate until you are reasonably confident in using the ink. For homework, two inches on the type of ink you are using and why it is the right ink for the slate.


[[Filtered to Daisya]]

I would advise against any further nocturnal activity. If you really want a wild fruit bat, discuss the matter with your Care of Magical Creatures teacher or cast Point Me during the day, when you will have the added advantage of finding them asleep.


[[Late post... sorry, everyone! Essentially, a couple of Jakk's friends broke into Bob's classroom and made a mess of parchment and materials, causing him to dismiss several of his classes early. Feel free to have witnessed or heard of the debacle. XD As usual, brief notes on how your character managed the assignment are for the win! And Mell, can we say Izumi pranks Bob in some way before Halloween?]]
bobthewizard: (11)

That Ryuzaki... 'important business', my foot. With his academic performance to date, he can take some time out of his jam-packed life for a twelve-foot analysis of early Coptic inscriptions. Best if he knows his school is still here and waiting for him.

I'll miss seeing that smug face in class.

This house-elf business is too good to be true. They don't need to make time to assist a ghost, and yet they're doing so. Someone must have put them up to it. *chuckles* ..I have a secret admirer? I'd almost be tempted to... but no, their first loyalty is to the castle; there's no way to swear them to the kind of complete secrecy I need.

*paces, finally comes to a stop, staring off into the distance*

..No. It must be a child.


To Marik and the other new Head of House appointees, as well as to the new Prefects and Head Boys and Girls, all congratulations.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my skull office.

[[Strikes = not there. With Pattra's permission, Bob is going to keep pelting the absent L with homework. Otherwise, he'll spend the day in his office, which is locked... unless you know the password. >D]]
bobthewizard: (5)
Private, first paragraph 50% hackable )

[[Filtered to Bob's students]]

As a follow-up to last week's discussion of summoning circles, you are to pick one notable instance of a summoning involving runes and describe the procedure -- and whether or not it worked -- in no less than six inches. Advanced students may create a non-volatile diagram as well.

One more thing: summoning circles and crop circles are not the same thing. Crop circles have nothing to do with runes. We will not be discussing crop circles at this time. I trust I have made my position sufficiently clear.

As for this weekend's prank, those who were affected may hand their work in two days late. However, I expect to see everyone in class, regardless of size or material composition, AND DO NOT DRAW ON THE LITTLE PEOPLE where you will conduct yourselves with all due decorum.

bobthewizard: (4)
Private, a few words hackable here and there )

[[Filtered to Bob's students]]

Bring your Wright's workbook to tomorrow's lesson. We will be examining early circles of summoning and how their efficacy changes with the alphabet used in the rim. If you have already taken three or more years of Runes, you will find a more detailed explanation in the first chapter of Linguistic Secrets Revealed. After the discussion, there will be a five-inch practical to be handed in at the end of class.


[[Filtered to Daisya]]

How is the book?


*peers out through his door and is greeted by a number of expectant-looking cats*

..Oh, not again.


bobthewizard: (Default)
Hrothbert "Bob" Bainbridge

August 2010

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