bobthewizard: (Default)
Finally, the receipt!

To those students taking my Ancient Runes course: if you visited Flourish & Blotts too early to obtain Wright's White Rites Rightly Writ, which arrived late last week, a copy will be forwarded to Hogwarts on request.

Sick of being forced to read in class??
Try our TOP LINE of magically illustrated abridgements,
guaranteed to entertain for hours while disguised
as a perfectly ordinary schoolbook!!!


This product is not designed to take the place
of serious literature. Burnable copies are available
for teachers at double price.

... *strikes the ad out with lots and lots of ink*

[[Filtered to staff, 40% hackable to others]]

In case you were wondering, the cat's spine has been repaired and he is now able to move around. He is still in considerable pain, so kindly refrain from startling him while he is still in the staff-room. Jareth, Izumi -- thank you for assisting in his recovery.

Data, you might be interested in seeing him. Is it normal for a creature this size to be able to make such a piercing sound?

..Well... why not? It isn't as if anybody has shown up to claim him... and if he's going to be here for much longer, I can't keep calling him Hey.... MARCO, YOU DO NOT TOUCH THE FEATH-- *series of random lines and scratches where the cat attacked Bob's quill*

bobthewizard: (12)
[[Private, hackable to staff]]

I see last names have gone out of fashion again. A promising development in some ways. Perhaps all those bloody piercings children wear these days will die out again as well.

*hears something in the corridor* ..If there are cats out there now.....



... *stops short*

..Is -- *voice catches; swallows* If someone -- if anyone is nearby at this time I would appreciate some assistance with a -- situation -- here in the castle....

[[Bob is currently standing near a pillar outside the Great Hall. This animal is huddled between the pillar and the wall, ill and emaciated, suffering from prolonged exposure and a fractured spine. Bob, of course, can do nothing concrete. Somebody help!!]]
bobthewizard: (6)
[[Private, unhackable]]

Tomoe, Tomoe... where have I heard of him? Not surprised I have, though. Allowing his own daughter to be possessed -- the man doubtless has strong ties to the Dark. And I can't testify! Confound the Ministry, restricting personhood to the living. If Dumbledore weren't out of the country....


At least that swift nest is back in its place.

Now that I have a salary, I believe this is a good time to visit the wizarding section of the British Museum and obtain some reliefs of the carvings on various ancient artifacts. Would someone care to accompany me?

[[Translation: to cart his skull about while he browses through the musty old artifacts. XD Strike illegible.]]
bobthewizard: (2)
Further Announcement about Ancient Runes

I have been asked to clarify the requirements for next year's curriculum. You do not have to know a second language in order to take the class. It is called Ancient Runes, not Ancient Dialects. While the class will briefly cover the definitions, origins, and branches of language, those subjects will be strictly background material to the study of letters, runes, hieroglyphics, and other symbols used in wizardry. Bring your English, and you may actually learn something.

[[Filtered to staff]]


*whips around, searching for the source of the noise; there's nothing broken on the brief bookshelf, nothing on the floor, nothing that could make a sound like that*


*looking up*



*all the frustration in the world* If somebody will come to my office, they will find a minor leak in my ceiling. I would take it kindly if it were to be fixed before it wears a hole through my skull or the books beneath it are damaged beyond


--recovery. *fumes*

[[The leaky water pipe in Bob's ceiling is dripping directly onto his skull and rapidly becoming worse, so if nobody shows up for a while, his crude bookcase is going to be very wet. Please, someone, think of the books! XD]]
bobthewizard: (4)
[[Private, unhackable]]

Dark portents... not that an acromantula crossing onto the school grounds is disturbing enough; I thought the wards were supposed to take care of those matters -- but something is raising my hackles, which is a good trick, seeing as I'm DEAD. My writing won't stay in the air and if I actually ever had a grave, I'd imagine that someone was treading it deeper at this very moment. Perhaps I should stay in my skull until it all blows over.....

*sticking his head out through the closed door* On the other hand, current events are giving me an excellent chance to observe cats in their natural environment. I wonder if one of these animals is Professor Soong's?


To the Gryffindor student who left his or her bookbag in the outer hall beside my door, Mrs. Norris and several of her ilk are taking an undue interest in it, so I would advise you to collect it immediately before it is dragged off and demolished. What's in there, kippers?

[[Jumping on the general bandwagon of something-feels-off, if that's okay. Feel free to claim the bag (or any of the cats).]]


bobthewizard: (Default)
Hrothbert "Bob" Bainbridge

August 2010

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